I always arrive to pick up Aaron about 15 minutes early, and did so tonight.
Tonight after chatting for a while (to the nursery staff) 2 other children's parents still weren't there.
It turned out they were both experiencing the same train problem which I'd have been too if working.
My friend phoned me and asked if I could wait with her son at reception so at least the nursery ROOM staff could go home.
When I informed them they wouldn't agree to it unless she called back and told reception which she immediately did.
While I was in the cloakroom the other friend (1 of the 2) arrived as he'd taken a different route. Unfortunately my other friend was still delayed as she'd waited at X station.
A lovely staff member put my friend's son's jacket on and took him to reception as she could see I had my hands full with Aaron.
I expected the boys to be a handful in reception (with Aaron maybe playing with the water cooler) but NO they were both impeccably behaved with my son sitting playing with one of those things where you move big wooden beads on curly wires attached to a board of wood, and my friend's son was happy to sit next to me, watching, and occasionally moving the beads too. I kept saying "Well done boys" and "Good sharing". This went on for quite some time and both boys were not at all boisterous. It was a really relaxed atmosphere. Then Aaron said "Where is Y's Mummy?" to which I said "she is on a slow train" and both boys giggled at that as I said slow very sloooowwwwwly.
What I am trying to say, is all I got from my friend's boy was smiles and him sitting next to me. NO BOTHER WHATSOEVER from either boy........*
Anyway after quite some time sitting in reception, (all of the room staff had long since left) the 2 remaining Managers (who hadn't spoken to me once in all of this time) started putting on jackets and locking up and turning lights off so I worried and phoned my friend immediately. Their train was ONE stop away. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. But after that they would have to drive to nursery so we were still looking at a minimum of 10 minutes till they arrive.
When the Manager started "kicking us out" to use her words, I said to her "well the good news is that they are at X station so I am comfortable with being kicked out"...
She said "it doesn't make a difference as the room closes at 6 and the nursery closes at 6:15 so we would have had to kick you out anyway".
I said "I would not have been comfortable with that as I am not his legal guardian, but can we just focus on the good news that they are nearby and not stuck at X".
She said "You agreed to collect him so we would have still kicked you out even if they were".
I said "I did not agree to collect him, I agreed to wait with him in reception".
To which she said "what you agreed with Mum is not the nursery's concern! As far as we are concerned you agreed to collect him, so you are the responsible adult".
I said "I did not agree to collect him, I agreed to wait with him in reception".
To which she said "we'll have to agree to disagree" to which I said "there is no disagreement, I did not agree to collect him".
To which she said something else inflammatory (I can't remember what) - it didn't come to a nice conclusion.
Then she had the cheek to come over and comment that my friend's boy did not have a hat, to which I said, "well he is being collected in a car so does not need one".
Anyway my OTHER friend who took the OTHER route was still there, and he had a spare had so leant it to Y.
We all left the building.
The 2 remaining Managers both got in cars, and once we'd all left the grounds: me and my friend on foot, with his girl and the 2 boys I had with me, I said to my friend, "can you believe what you heard?" and instead of being sympathetic he said you have to "choose your battles".
He showed his sympathy in other ways, by staying with us till the other boy's parents arrived. We were at the end of walking on a long dark road when they did. Aaron on reins and my friend's boy holding my hand. The friend who was with me had his girl in a buggy.
I had the two boys (both without a buggy) - Aaron hasn't used it to and from nursery in WEEKS and the other boy did not need one as his Mum & Dad were stuck on the same train, and after that they hop in a car near the station to come and collect him and drive him home.
Bearing in mind this is the FIRST evening we have left nursery in the dark (Aaron doesn't attend nursery on Mondays and the clocks have just gone back), I was already worried about the journey home without having to do it with two 2 year olds. Yes, two 2 year olds.
I am sorry but there are legal issues at stake here...... I know what I agreed to, and so does the person in the nursery who took the call from my friend. She/he can give a statement tomorrow when I make my official complaint.
She was kicking us out EVEN if the parents were not near by. Say I lost control and couldn't keep both boys with me and one of them ran in the road and got run over? What then?
I am sorry but right now I am livid.
And when you are dealing with a sensitive situation why use inflammatory phrases like "kick out" and why dispute someone's version of events when there are LOTS of witnesses to what I agreed to. I am sorry it is unacceptable, and we are talking about a public institution that deals with childcare and is public facing. Sorry I expect more!
You have to remember a few things here:
- I was not the parents who were late.
- I am not listed as authorised to "collect" Y.
- Both boys were being very well behaved in reception.
- I was in a good mood as when I approached her I had a smile on my face about the fact that they were ONE stop away on the train.
- What I am trying to say is there was not any extenuating circumstances to explain her behaviour.
- In a public facing MANAGERIAL role there is NO excuse for how she behaved.
*But what happens next is that the most senior person in the building, who should have known better decided to THROW HER toys out of HER pram and expect me to just take it on the chin....
I believe that the nursery were/are
- Legally responsible
- Insurance wise responsible
- Responsible as a childcare/education provider
- Morally responsible; and
- Ethically responsible.
Paid like a manager ACT like a manager!!!!!!
And I am now editing, as Crystal Jigsaw on Twitter has reminded me about the money side of things. With them both being two years old and each being there 3 days a week we each pay £588 a month. So we are paying for a service and expect one.
And they can shove their fireworks night!
And you're paying towards that woman's wages. If you're not happy with the service then you have every right to complain. Personally, I'd remove my child and find another nursery because if a manager can behave like that towards parents, what is she like with the children? And if SHE is that bad, it begs the question whether she's teaching her staff to have the same unsympathetic attitude...
ReplyDeleteCJ x
The room staff are simply wonderful.
DeleteIt is a terrible shame.
If I take him out, it is only he who will suffer as there isn't a suitable alternative.
I have to see this complaint through, so she realises parents don't just accept all she dishes out.
Thank you so much for your support on here and on Twitter.
Liska x
I would have thought that the nursery had a legal duty of care towards the child whose parents were late. Shocking that they would turn out a mother with a two year old, let alone someone who was doing a good deed by waiting with another child that they were not legally responsible for. She sounds like a real piece of work. W xxx
ReplyDeleteFunny I was on the phone to the child's parents after writing this post and I used the phrase duty of care (even though I forgot to use it in the blog post) - Wendy you are so so right.
Deletexx
It was wrong of the staff to leave the premises whilst all children had not been collected. However, it should have been the ROOM staff that were responsible for the child until the parents turned up which is possibly why the assumption was made that you were taking over that responsibility.
ReplyDeleteIn an ideal world, no, the management should never have locked the building and left you outside. It will be interesting to read the update tomorrow after you have spoken to the boss tomorrow (although I suspect they will be very non-committal and want to speak to their staff before making a comment towards you). I also think you should have the support of the other parent(s) when you make your complaint.
Hi, this particular Manager being the Deputy is very hands on, unlike her boss who is the officed based aspect of management.
DeleteEvery time a child is distressed she takes it upon herself to go into the room and cheer the child up. She prides herself on how good she is with children and is known for it. Sometime children are in reception sitting on her knee.
She is not the sort of person to just wash her hands of kids, so she can't even use that excuse. "Home time" must have been sacrosanct for her, no matter what the cost, but I WILL complain, to ensure she thinks again the next time she thinks of forgetting what that institution's responsibilities are.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Liska xx
One stop away and a five minute car ride means she could have waited 10 minutes. Never mind her professional obligations - why not show a bit of kindness that will cost you 15 mins tops? Mean spirited is the word that comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteSo so so so so many reasons for her to have waited xxx
DeleteWow, the must have hot dates or something! I'm with Midlife Singlemum - surely it wouldn't have been much to have waited 10 minutes? They must have had a bad day but I'm sorry, there should be some compassion.
ReplyDeleteWhen she realises I have complained in writing (once I hand my 3 page statement in later today) she will be wishing she had waited those 10 minutes.
DeleteHer "hot date" was with 24 patties she was making for a "World Food Day" event the nursery is doing today. I deliberately brought in nothing this morning as a protest xx
I have a blog post brewing for a while now about nurseries - I think they are bloody awful places. We will look back in 30 years time and think what an earth were we thinking. We live in a country that encourages its mothers to go back to work so the mother pays tax, hand the child over to someone else - the business pays tax and the 17 year old looking after the child pays tax. Rock on nurseries.
ReplyDeletePleas write it and let me know when you do. Thank you for visiting and commenting.
DeleteLiska xx
If I worked in the nursery I would have made phone calls and explained I would be late wherever it was I was going after work, and sat with the parent and children in reception in the warmth.
ReplyDeleteI used to be late by half hour sometimes when my kids were at nursery because of traffic back from Clitheroe to Preston, they really didnt like it but its one of those things. Parents are late sometimes when there are road traffic accidents or things out of their control.
Let us know what outcome is!
She told me we were being kicked out at 18:14 which is when I called the parents for a status update. She then said the "room" closes at 1800 and the building at 1815 so I am glad I have my phone proof to prove she didn't even give us a minute's grace.
DeleteWhen I was at the end of the road, my friend called at 18:21 to say they were there, and we watched their car pull in, and they also gave me a lift home.
The fact that I called her at 18:14 shows they were closing on time.
The fact that she called me, on the road at 18:21 shows the that even though Aaron refused to put his jacket on and leave, it clearly didn't delay us long. They turned the lights off to black dark to get him out, so they ensured that didn't delay things. So when I calmed down, I thought maybe she gave us 15-20 extra minutes and that's why she got like that, but luckily I looked at my phone which proves that that's not the case, so she hasn't even got that excuse.
She has no excuses whatsoever, as me and her have no history (we chat and joke every day) so there are zero extenuating circumstances or context.
Also she didn't need to make a phone call to say she was running late as her only "date" was with her oven to make 24 patties for "World Food Day" today so she hasn't got that excuse either.
Thank you SO much for visiting and commening.
Liska xx
Sadly the world hasn't gone mad, just more and more selfish. Acts of kindness like yours aren't common, but they're rarer and rarer. This woman deserves to be severely reprimanded and reminded what her responsibilities are. No parent wants to be late for their child, it's stressful and you're also keenly aware of missing more time with your kids. You and your friend deserved some empathy as a minimum. I can't bear the type of person who clocks off rigidly like that. Jobsworth.
ReplyDelete