It was a busy joyful weekend for Aaron, but a real soul-searching tear jerker for me.
As these photos show, Aaron had a great weekend. For obvious reasons I haven't included the pics that include other people or their children.
So first photo is where we spent the day with Siobhan and her two children (Friday 5th October).
That involved Aaron and her gorgeous girl playing until her son finished school. We all went to collect him together - that gave me a taster of what the school run is like "oh boy!". Then we all went to the park: 2 Mums and three children. I wish I could show you them all in their rain jackets as they look ADORABLE - but it showed me that rain does not have to keep you indoors. Aaron was dead happy in his rain jacket as long as his hood was up. We went back to theirs for a BEAUTIFUL dinner. They all loved it. Aaron was asleep before I even left so he slept all the way home in the buggy - thank God, as being that I use public transport we were not home until 10 p.m.
Second pic is Aaron in Daddy's car, just outside the soft play area where the birthday party of his cousin was. It was quite exciting as Joe Swash was there. 3rd and 4th photos are also taken there - I love that they have an area with cars as Aaron loves those, having spent hours in one in Ireland. It's called Tumble in The Jungle and is in Walthamstow. Wow, they are very good at birthday parties and the prices are reasonable it would seem. The only thing that let it down is the cafe and the toilets.
Fifth photos is today, as we had Siobhan and her little girl round for lunch and a playdate. That's Aaron holding her hand which was a real ahhhh moment as it was his idea.
It was about time I returned the favour as they have hosted and fed us quite a few times in recent months, and we have had some wonderful times in their garden etc... Such a shame her wee boy is now at school as it meant that they had to leave at 14:20.
I cooked salmon, potatoes, brocoli and carrots and both adults and both toddlers loved it :-) It really showed me that I need to have people round more often as Aaron was great at sharing but ONLY after they were here a couple of hours. I thought nursery would have taught him that but REAL sharing is having to share your OWN toys, not nursery's.
So I must keep up with the housework and more importantly the decluttering so that the place is nice enough to host guests - yes I am admitting that I can't do it all (be a domestic goddess and be a great Mum to Aaron). I've never ever claimed to be able to do it all, but I am now trying my very best, but alas still no progress on the job front :-(
I did do something last week though that brought me an awful lot of closure, and I felt a "clearing" that was like a weight being lifted so it will be VERY interesting to see where THAT leads.
Anyway, due to the "lifting" of energy resulting from what I did last week, in relation to work, it also lead to a shake-up with me and hubby, in a good way, that saw him accompanying us to Church. Actually I think that was more to do with the fact that on Saturday I threatened that if things don't get better I will move to Ireland.
That's what the photos don't show: the husband came to mass on Sunday, so that he could stay in the naughty room, with Aaron, while I got to sing with the choir. I wasn't enjoying church anymore, as Aaron wouldn't stay in his seat, so we'd always end up in the kids naughty room. Yes you have a good view of the altar etc... but my reason for going is my "sangat" which is my choir.
My heart opened due to the husband's kind gesture of coming with us and the fact that we had Sunday lunch out afterwards, but then after that we ended up discussing his Sister and the fact that we argued about FRUIT SHOOTS at the birthday party, and as he took her side, and due to the particular things he said, I ended up crying for hours and hours and later again for hours and hours.
It taught me, that when I am emotionally withdrawn, he doesn't have the power to upset me, so I think, sadly, I may have to go back to that. A nice day was all it took to open my heart, and BOOM - heart broken. Well, no more!
Anyway I had a lovely day today having Siobhan and her daughter round, and I am going to build on the fact that the flat is tidier. Onwards and upwards.
Liska xx
A bittersweet post. I hope you don't stay emotionally withdrawn. :( Keep you heart open, Liska.
ReplyDeleteSorry your nice time ended up shitty. I was married to someone like that - he ruined everything. I was always sorry I'd left myself open - but tbh, he's the loser. Bide your time. You'll know what to do. Much love XXX
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