Why did you have children? How have they changed your life?

Hi

I write this post for

Due to their Do Something Yummy campaign http://www.yummymummy.org.uk/
brought to my attention by the awareness Nickie is raising by hosting these weekly writing prompts  here here and here.

Nickie gave 3 writing prompts:

1. Personal post.  Why did you have children?  How have they changed your life?
2. Yummy post. 
3. Creative writing.

I chose the 1st one.

Over to my post.  But after writing that, I am now scratching my grey matter to come up with a fund raising idea.  I may just have thought of one.  I will let it simmer a while.

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I started trying for a baby on Good Friday 2009.  April.

I had wanted to since 2007 (and before) but was far far far too scared of labour.  Proper scared.

Anyway, along comes the beginning of 2009 and I say to hubby I am too overweight to get pregnant, "give me a few weeks I'll do a detox" - I even wrote posts about trying to lose weight here, but proceeded not to lose any.  I didn't admit on that blog that my goal for weight loss was trying to start a family.  April came, and I was still the same size.

So roll on Good Friday and we are in Ikea, and I am looking at scented candles.  A heavily pregnant lady walked passed and I looked at her. Her radiance connected with me on a really really deep level and I bawled like a baby, right there in Ikea.

The minute we got home, we made love on the sofa.

I got pregnant, from that 1st attempt, but, a few week later, we had implantation failure..... most wouldn't know and would think they were late, and that it was a heavier than normal period. I am normally neither and am consistent, for like 25 years +.

Anyway, we tried every month from April till September and the only thing that got me through it was Net Mums.

The longer time went on, the more I wanted my baby. It was all consuming. I read about it, talked about it, didn't think about anything else.

And for me, having been a workaholic, I needed it to be like that. I would have taken it for granted if it came too soon. I needed to need, I needed to wait, I needed to nurture that space inside me, and I needed to long... long for my creation.

I wrote the below poem on Friday 18th September 2009. When I wrote it, I was pregnant, and did not know...... as I was in the famous 2 weeks waiting..... My last cycle started 31st August 2009.

(I retain all creative rights and copyright - ha ha ha).

I am a spiritual lady who so dearly wants a baby
I would oh so like the bump I'm impatient, got the hump
two weeks worth of waiting is getting really grating
But I do really love this thread Gets it all out of my head
A little girl or a boy Will be my pride and joy
Oh Lord when will it be that my beloved child I will see
I love you. I want you.

I posted it on netmums at the time. Thankfully I just found it (by wading through the forum which was quite time consuming).

I also started this blog before I was pregnant. A bit ambitious I know.

This was my 1st post, here on this blog.

Bye for now, Liska and my pride and joy Aaron xxx